Are you someone that is extremely organized, and you always are on time? Do you have everything in order like your money, your appointments and everything in your life seems to run smooth because you are in control of it? But then what happens when you don’t? What happens when something comes up that you can’t control? How can you manage your behavior in these situations?
Controlling Things
There is something called the Circle of Control, and this is a model that shows three circles. This is known through Stephen Covey and his book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” In this circle, there are three circles, and one is having a circle of influence, a circle of concern and no concern. The three circles are there and people that are proactive often focus on what people that are wasteful and not controlling don’t worry about.
You can look at the circles and see how proactive you are in your life. The Circle of Control is the one that is in the center, and it shows all things in your life including your behaviors and your thoughts. You aren’t going to always be able to manage things that come to your mind, but you can manage how you react.
The next circle is the Circle of Influence. This is when you have issues that you want to control but you might not be able to. You can be positive and influence your decisions based on these things.
The outer circle is the Circle of Concern or the Circle of No Control. These are things that you are not able to control at all. These are the outer most circle and these are things that you cannot change no matter what you do.
The thing is you might want to control things and you should focus on the things that you can control. These are the things that you influence that help you have a good life. But the ones that you cannot control, let them be.
Dealing with Things Outside of Your Control
It can be hard to change how you think about things and how you manage your thoughts and emotions. When you have to deal with things outside the circle, it can change your life. You have to realize that you can’t control everything, and this is how you keep your mind, body, and soul healthy. First, you have to identify what scares you and what your fears are.
Are you afraid of things like speaking in public or traveling? By looking at things you are afraid of, you can see that even if something bad happens, that it is probably not going to. No matter that you can’t control this situation, you will probably be able to come back from it if you have something bad happen.
- Focus on Controllable Things
There are things that you can control in your life, and you need to focus on these things. Look at the things that you can control such as being in relationships, getting things done in a timely manner and doing things good for your health. Control these things. Here is how:
- Be Positive
Make sure that you are influencing things in your life positively. Influencing others is not controlling them it is showing them that they can make a positive impact in their life. You can impact anyone in a positive way, someone you know or someone you don’t know. Do this.
- Be Mindful
Being mindful is important and there is no way to really mess up on this. Go outside in nature and think about your life or journal your thoughts. If you are feeling down on yourself, build yourself up by listening to what you need.
- Talk to Someone
You can find people in your life that can help you with things you are going through. Talk to a therapist, a friend, or a psychic. You can talk to a psychic, and you will find that they can give you advice on how to move forward in your life.
“Focus on the controllable.” Seems like sound advice for anyone feeling overwhelmed by life’s uncertainties. Still, easier said than done! When everything feels out of control, focusing on what you *can* manage feels almost impossible.
Absolutely! The trickiest part isn’t knowing what you can control; it’s actually accepting the things you can’t.
So true! Sometimes even identifying the ‘controllable’ can feel like finding a needle in a haystack when anxiety takes over.
This article provides a simple yet profound explanation of Covey’s Circle of Control. It’s a great reminder that our energy should be spent on things within our control rather than wasted on futile concerns. I’ve read ‘7 Habits,’ and it’s refreshing to see these ideas being reiterated in a digestible way.
I agree. It’s incredible how much mental energy we waste trying to control the uncontrollable when we could redirect that toward productive action.
Oh great, another self-help piece telling us to ‘be positive’ and ‘stay mindful.’ Groundbreaking stuff here folks! Next thing they’ll tell us is water is wet!
It’s interesting how this concept ties into Stoic philosophy as well—focusing only on what we can control and accepting the rest with equanimity has been around since ancient times. Covey simply modernized it for today’s context.
I tried focusing only on what I can control—and now my houseplants are thriving while my life crumbles around me! Priorities matter, I guess?
‘Circle of Control’? Really? It’s just another pseudo-philosophical way of saying, ‘Stop worrying about things you can’t change.’ Nothing groundbreaking here. It sounds nice but is overly simplistic.
“Being mindful is important and there is no way to really mess up on this”—This part really resonated with me. I’ve been practicing mindfulness for years, and it’s true: there’s no right or wrong way, only personal growth.
“There’s no right or wrong way”—exactly! Mindfulness is about presence, not perfection.
*Unless* you’re meditating while texting… then maybe you’re messing up a little!
“Talk to a psychic”? Really? This article was quite reasonable until it veered into pseudoscience. I’m all for talking to someone, but let’s keep it grounded in reality, shall we?