There are people who are struggling with pain and stress, and they will meditate so that they can feel more connected. They will do this to avoid pain and to have more joy. But sometimes the pain doesn’t go away, and this practice can just make your life harder. Spiritual bypassing is when you meditate in order to get past things that are hurting you in life and you take up toxic positivity by avoiding what is true.
Spiritual bypassing is when people avoid issues that they don’t face head on that can be interpersonal, personal, or even systematic problems. Spiritual bypassing is when you use meditation or spiritual things as a way to avoid reality and escape the problems that you are having. This can include:
- Not having compassion but detaching instead.
- Using meditation to get past feelings that are uncomfortable.
- Avoiding emotions.
- Meditating to say that you are superior or righteous and not sharing your practices with anyone else.
- Believing that when you meditate you will be able to be positive and you will have joy instead of allowing yourself to face uncomfortable situations or challenges.
Interpersonal Spiritual Bypassing
Interpersonal spiritual bypassing is when you never allow yourself or others to express their painful or negative feelings or emotions. Instead, you refuse to listen. You might say things like:
- Don’t tell me about it. If it makes you uncomfortable then deal with it.
- Stop focusing on the negative but look at the right side of life.
- Be nice and don’t let this make you mad.
Even though saying these things to other people aren’t bad, this can cause people to not be able to express the pain and the hurt that they are going through in an unhealthy manner.
Systematic Spiritual Bypassing
Systematic spiritual bypassing can be when you decide that you don’t see a race or you say things like, “all lives matter.” Even though these are absolutely real and true statements, they aren’t allowing you to have growth or change.
People that choose to be spiritual as a way of escaping life or putting up a wall will use spiritual bypassing to help them. No matter what kind of spiritual works you do, you can face spiritual bypassing if you are using this.
Toxic Positivity
Toxic positivity happens with spiritual bypassing, and this is when you say that nothing is ever bad and that you will keep your vibrations high no matter what happens. When you feel bad, this is toxic and so you avoid it.
Many people will turn to meditation when they are feeling pain or are in suffering because they think that it can make them positive. Meditation isn’t meant for that, and it is meant to ground you, help you to be kind and compassionate to yourself and others and to be able to deal with hard times.
Toxic positivity is hurtful because it doesn’t allow you to grow. Once change is needed, you have to be able to see it and sometimes meditation can cloud your mind and not benefit you.
Avoiding Spiritual Bypassing
You can deal with both spiritual bypassing and toxic positivity by doing these things!
- Meditation
You should meditate each day, but it shouldn’t be to hide feelings and thoughts. Meditate and notice your emotions, pay attention to what you are feeling and have compassion for yourself to change.
- Mindfulness
You need to make sure that you’re being mindful of how you’re handling things. Your emotions are real and when you feel like escaping, notice this. Don’t be impatient with others that want to share their feelings with you.
- Feel the Pain
Meditation shouldn’t be there as a way to cover up what you’re feeling. You need to allow yourself to feel the pain when emotions and other things come up.
- Avoid the Idea that Meditation Fixes Everything
Meditation is great and you should do it, but it won’t fix everything. It should help you to grow and help you to work through things, but it won’t fix things when there are problems.
- Accept That You Need to Open Up
Accept that you need to open up and you need to notice and embrace the feelings and behaviors of others. Don’t push them away and stay closed off to them.
- Everyone Messes Up
Everyone messes up and you have to allow yourself space to be able to do that. When you know that you can do better, do it but if you have messed up, let it go and forgive yourself.
- Be Compassionate with Yourself
Meditation will never make you perfect and will never make you whole. You need to give yourself grace when things happen and when you are working on your shadow self, be even more compassionate.
- Notice Other’s Pain
Learn to notice other people’s pain and to be compassionate with them. This can make you stronger and it can give you more empathy.