An energy vampire is someone that will take your emotional energy either intentionally or unintentionally. They will do what it takes to make you care and love them and then when they get you where they want you, they will take advantage of you.
This kind of relationship could be a friend, family or loved one. Once you know this kind of behavior and see how toxic it is, you will be able to learn to protect yourself from this energy and to deal with it.
Not Accountable
People with this personality are not accountable for how they treat others. They are able to take their problems and make them look like someone else caused it and they never take accountability for their own actions.
They never will accept that they are the problem, and they will always make you feel bad or guilty.
Drama
This kind of personality is full of drama. They will find someone that is emotional, and they will use their behavior to make you feel bad for who you are and what you do.
One Upping You
An energy vampire wants to have all of the attention and they will do what it takes to have this spot. They never feel happy for others and if you take the spotlight then you will be their next target.
Make Your Problems Small
They will take your problems and make them out like they are small and that they don’t matter while their problems are the only thing that they can focus on.
Being a Martyr
This type of person will look at the problems others have and will act like they aren’t important, but they will say how much they helped them. They will do what it takes to boost their self-esteem and to feel that they are more important against others.
Using You
People that know how kind and loving you are will take this personality and will use you as much as they can. This can be to make you listen to them or to take away your energies.
Guilt Trips
Energy vampires are people that are able to lay on the guilt trip. They will use this against you anytime that they can, and they will do this to coerce you into doing things for them.
Codependent
Codependency is one of the biggest types of relationships that energy vampires have. They will come to these people, romantic or not, and they will constantly cause there to be drama.
Bullying
They will bully you in order to make you feel insecure and they will make you feel that you owe them for the things that they have done for you. Or they will attack you for no reason.
Intimidating
This energy will be intimidating, and they will try to scare you into being more about them. They will upset you so that they can have a stronger ego.
What Can You Do?
If you are dealing with this type of personality, it can cause you to feel stressed out or depressed. You need to look at their behaviors and see if they are someone that you need to move on in your life without.
Make Boundaries
Always make boundaries. These are healthy things that can keep you from having to deal with drama. You can have boundaries by not going places with them or if you work together, not agreeing to stop and talk to them or to have lunch together.
Change How You Think
Stop thinking that this person is going to change and that they will treat you better, they probably won’t. You cannot use them to release your feelings or emotions either or they will use this against you.
Don’t Give In
Don’t give into them and if they text you or call you, ignore them. Give them an excuse as to why you cannot hang out with them or do things with them.
Keep Your Emotions Strong
Energy vampires are able to read your body language. If they think that you are expressing sadness or something else, they can use this as a sign to tune into you and take advantage of you.
Talk to them with a face that doesn’t show emotions and don’t give them an idea of what you are feeling.
Stop Being Around Them
No matter what, if these people are causing you undo stress, go ahead and get rid of them completely out of your life. This might seem harsh but sometimes it is the only way to keep your soul happy.
Final Thoughts
Once you are able to know an energy vampire and how to handle them, you can live a happier and healthier life. Refuse to accept people in your life that won’t be responsible for their own actions. Let them bear their own burdens without pulling you down.
The concept of ‘energy vampires’ seems overly simplistic to me. While emotional manipulation is real and damaging, labeling someone as an ‘energy vampire’ does little to address the underlying psychological issues at play on both sides of such relationships.
“Stop being around them” — easier said than done when you’re dealing with family members or coworkers. I’d love to see more practical advice on managing these relationships instead of just cutting people off completely.
I found this article incredibly helpful. It sheds light on a dynamic I’ve experienced but never had words for. The section about guilt trips especially resonated with me—I’ve been there more times than I’d like to admit.
Ah yes, the ‘energy vampire.’ A term straight out of a self-help book, or perhaps an episode of Buffy. While I appreciate the sentiment here, it’s hard not to chuckle at the dramatics. Are these people vampires or just garden-variety narcissists?
‘Garden-variety narcissists’? Well played! But honestly, sometimes it feels like they really do drain your soul. Maybe ‘vampire’ isn’t too far off after all!
“Talk to them with a face that doesn’t show emotions.” Oh great, let me just become a robot while I’m at it! Seriously though, if it were that easy to hide emotions from manipulative people, we’d all be masters of stoicism by now.
“Energy vampires” as a term may sound trivial to some, but what it’s pointing towards—emotional manipulation and toxic dynamics—is very real and pervasive. It’s crucial for people who fall into such traps to recognize these patterns and take steps towards healthier relationships.
This article makes a compelling case for setting boundaries with toxic individuals, but I wonder: is it truly possible to fully distance oneself from such people in today’s interconnected world? The advice is sound, yet seems more aspirational than practical in many cases.
*Sigh* Another article blaming everyone else for our problems… Maybe instead of focusing on so-called ‘energy vampires,’ we should work on building our own resilience and emotional intelligence?